Not Yet
by madparty99
Summary: Liz is finally able to admit her feelings, is Red ready?
1. That Night

**Notes:**

**RL has hit me hard and I am really far behind on my other stories, but he is a shortie for now. **  
**One shot for now, could be expanded at later date.**

**I do not own any part of the blacklist, NBC has not given me anything yet... :( I would gladly, GLADLY own any part of James Spader, I wonder how much he would cost to rent for an hour...**

* * *

Raymond Reddington filled her every thought, night and day. He was absolutely fascinating, the way he spoke with a deep baritone tone, his eyes and how they show his every emotion, the feigned confidence he had around her.

Elizabeth Scott, newly divorced had filed for divorce for two reasons. Reason one, she found out her husband was a lying cheating bastard. Reason number two, she had finally admitted to herself that she was in fact in love with Raymond Reddington.

This admission had not come easily. Elizabeth tried to fight her feelings ever since she first laid eyes on him inside the box at the post office. She was a happily, or so she thought, married women, she should not be having a strong desire to walk over the first time she laid eyes on this man and make love to him. She tried to put herself out as a tough bitch who wouldn't allow anyone get in her way, especially Raymond Reddington.

Raymond made her go on undercover after undercover mission with him, her always being some sort of mistress of his. She learned that she wasn't faking the characters' emotions toward him, they were there, they were always there.

Then Tom's secret came out, and the FBI stepped in. They went through her entire life, piece by piece, leaving no stone unturned. Elizabeth was broken through the entire processes, the only person who stood by her side, the only one who proved to actually be her friend, was Raymond Reddington.

Raymond Reddington. She had to tell him how she felt, she knew he felt the same way. The glances up and down her body, the way his hand slides lower on her back when no one from the FBI is watching, the way he kisses her while undercover. No person was that good of an actor, and she graduated as the best profiler in her class; Elizabeth Keen knew how he felt about her.

Now all she had to do was tell him…

* * *

It was pouring outside, and Elizabeth didn't want to pay for the valet parking. So, she parked in the parking garage across the street from the hotel. All the lower levels, with covering's where full, Elizabeth drove up to the top, parked her car, and felt the rain drops burning down her skin.

Once she made it under the covering Elizabeth felt better. Once she made it to the bottom, she was nervous to see him like this, she felt like a drown rat. Her make-up was most likely running down her cheeks, her clothes wet and limp, her hair wet and curled in tendrils.

Elizabeth waited to cross the street, and along comes a car that drives fast through the large puddle situated directly in front of her, spraying muddy murky water all over her.

She felt like going home, curling in a ball and pretending that this night never happened. Elizabeth couldn't turn back now; she couldn't hide these feelings that were growing inside of her the moment she laid eyes on him. Elizabeth made the decision to follow through with her plan, even if she looked horrible.

Once inside the hotel she chose to go up the stairwell, it gave her move time to think through how she was going to tell him. And more time to drip off.

"332A" She told herself as she followed the numbers down the elegant hallway with dark red carpeting and eggshell colored paint.

Elizabeth stood in front of the door, staring at the peephole, not knowing whether she should turn around and go home or be a big girl and knock.

She chose knock.

Elizabeth balled her right hand up into a fist, her hand begun to shake uncontrollably. She knew she had to do this; she had to tell him. She moved her hand up to the door and thumped the door three times before taking a step backward.

She heard him move within the room, heard him questioning who was interrupting him this late at night, heard the door creak open slightly.

"Lizzie? What on earth are you doing here? And dripping wet?" He ushered her into his room, and quickly shut the door behind her.

"Umm, I… I ca… umm." She stuttered out; she was nervous, cold and embarrassed.

"I know you are a very vocal person, use you words Elizabeth." He spoke to her as if they were inside of the post office being watched by AD cooper, certainly not like he speaks to her when it is just the two of them.

"Elizabeth?" She managed to squeak out.

"Yes." He set his jaw in a determined way to remain focused and professional. "Elizabeth, tell me what the hell you are doing here, now or I will stop with you and the blacklist."

She could feel the tears filling her eyes, burning and causing her eyes to turn pink. "I jus… I just wanted t… to tell you…"

Raymond cut her off, "You are wasting my time, spit it out or we are through." He was rising in irritation and anger in a way he had never been with her.

Now feeling the pressure she jumbled her words altogether, "WhatIWantedToTellYouWasThatIAmInLoveWithYou…"

"Elizabeth." He was now angry, she could tell and it frightened her.

"I am in love with you." She whispered, looking down at her feet.

"Go home." He was still angry, but there was something lighter about the way he said those two words.

"What?" She looked up and found his eyes right away.

"I don't want you here right now, go home." He turned away from her.

"R… R… Red?" She walked toward him and placed her palm in the center of his back.

"Stop." The anger was building again within him, and she was scared but didn't retreat, just held her hand on his back.

"No!" She yelled her voice child-like and shaky. "I has taken me a long time to get to this point with you and god dammit you are going to listen to me."

He quickly turned around and slapped her across the face, surprising them both.

"Red?" Elizabeth was now in shock, the pain hadn't kicked in with all the adrenaline coursing through her body.

"Get out of my hotel room and away from me." He started to yell, Raymond Reddington never yells.

She stood firm in front of him.

"Get the hell out!" Now he was yelling, Elizabeth continued to show no sign of fear after the slap. She took a step toward him.

"NOW!" He yelled.

She held firm, her lips set in a line. He looked right into her eyes seeing the fear that only presented itself in her eyes; her eyes never lie.

He was desperate to get her out of there, and slapped her harder on the same side of the face. She turned and spit out blood, but still never moved away from him.

"ELIZABETH! NOW!" He screamed at her, Liz allowed the tears to fall down her face.

"I don't want you here right now, I don't want to work with you, and I do not love you." He was still yelling at her.

Elizabeth's jaw dropped, and her brain was replaying the last five words over and over in her head. _I do not love you._

Tears were now forming Miniature Rivers down her cheek, and she felt numb. Elizabeth didn't feel anything other than numb, and stayed frozen- unable to move from her spot.

He watched her crumble in a matter of seconds, he saw her strong resolve crack and fall against the ground, now his voice gentler, "Go home, Lizzie."

She turned and started to walk to the door. She wrapped her hand around the handle, and started to turn it.

Raymond just watched as she was about to leave, then she turned around to face him. He saw a different emotion now covering her face, she was pissed off. She yelled, "I AM NOT A GAME! YOU DON'T GO FUCKING WITH MY EMOTIONS AND LIFE TO IN THE END TELL ME YOU DO NOT WORK WITH ME, OR EVEN TO SEE ME ANYMORE?! I DON'T NEED YOU TO LOVE ME BACK!" She turned back to the door.

Her fingers gripped the door knob tightly as she could. Tears streaming down her face, Liz felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Lizzie, dear, don't be mad. I just don't think you are really ready, for us." He tried to calm her, but she opened the door and walked out. Slamming it in his face, they both just stood on each side of the door until Liz ran to her car through the pouring rain.


	2. Hell has no fury like a women scorned

She was spiraling, slowly spinning, weightlessly.

She felt as if she was Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

Her world was collapsing around her and it felt as if she couldn't do anything to fix it.

Liz had to become creative.

Things we too far gone for repair, even of he did stay with her and the FBI, they certainly could not go back to playing the roles of lovers, being each other's "friend", no personal relationships. He would return to being the criminal informant and she would return to the cold hearted work-a-holic bitch of an FBI agent.

Liz went back to how she was before she fell in love with Tom. Determined to be the best, someone who doesn't care who they hurt to get what they want- someone like Red.

Liz wanted to hurt Red, beat him at his own game. She knew he couldn't leave, the immunity deal only went into action once the blacklist was completed.

Liz created a plan.

First she went and got her hair chopped into a pixie cut, and got blondish highlights. -He had once expressed to her during a meeting with one of his "friends" that he had fantasies about her having short lighter brown hair.

Liz was a profiler first, field agent second. She is good at pattern recognition with in human interaction and how people react under certain circumstances. Red always became flustered and had trouble focusing on anything other than her when she wore skin tight dresses and sky high heels. So, to call attention to herself she revamped her wardrobe, more heels and tight dresses.

Finally she knew Red had feelings for her, no matter how much he denied them. She also saw how Ressler was jealous about her and Red being lovers for many undercover missions.

Monday, she was going to grab Ressler in front of Red and kiss him, consequences be damned. She is going to have to wash her mouth with a bar of soap after that one...  
However, it should manage to start to get Red's blood boiling.

Don't fuck with mad Elizabeth Scott.

* * *

Red was pissed.

Beyond pissed.

Pissed is an understatement, he was a raging ball of fire.

Liz's father had sent him a package. That was delivered to him just minutes before she had come over.

What was in this package?

A charm from a charm bracelet he had given his daughter for her birthday the year they disappeared.

Red always knew who had done this to his family, knew who had killed them. But he never had any proof that they were really dead, and part of him wanted to believe that they were alive and well.

Now that one charm, the pink ballerina shoe charm, told him that her, his love's father had killed his wife and child.

He was also angered by the fact she was related to this monster. That he had broken down and fell in love with his enemy's daughter. No matter how beautiful, smart or perfect she maybe, Elizabeth was still related to him.

Red knew Liz's past even of she chose to shut this out of her life. He knew the abuse she sustained. He knew she wasn't the cause of her fathers ways, he had been a criminal way before she was conceived.

He didn't sleep after she left. He slapped her. He physically hurt her. He took his anger toward her father out on her. He could not sleep after he did that to her, it was too much for him to handle in one day.

Red never meant to get abusive, she went through enough of that from her father and the Tom. He didn't need to be added to the list of people who hurt her, he knew he was probably at the top of her list because of everything he has put her through since the very first day they officially met.

Monday, he didn't want it to come. He had to return to the black site, he couldn't run any more, Liz was good at finding him. And he would have to go back into hiding because the immunity hasn't been set in place. Liz was going to be scary, he had a feeling.

Red knew she was pasted the point of being naive and sorrowful about her loves. Liz and Red's hearts were frozen over with the blood of their enemies, and the hurt of the past. Not to forget the many times her heart had been broken.

Liz saw him at his weakest point, and still tried to remain with him even after all his abuse. He shut her out last night completely, and more or less told her to go fuck herself. Elizabeth Scott likes revenge, she enjoys putting the bad guys in their proper spot - in the ground or a cell.  
She was going to be mean, and cruel and nasty to get him where he is supposed to be.

But his Lizzie before last night was warm, loving and fuzzy. Could she live up to the rumors from New York? Could his once upon a time Lizzie be a bitch?

Red knew one thing for sure: Never mess with a women scorned. Ever.


	3. Maybe Monday won't be as Bad as Ithought

Note:

"I'd rather enter the Hunger Games than enter the office on Mondays." - Unknown.

Another shortish chapter but will be necessary for later chapters.

Also! I know that I have touched upon some things but the slap will play a major part in the rest of the story, and also her change in appearance will return after this chapter too.

I hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

Liz woke up extra early Monday to make sure she looked absolutely perfect. Her hair didn't cause much trouble because of the new short pixie cut, the outfit, however was going to cause problems if she had to do field work.

Liz chose a tight-ish plum colored dress that sat a few inches above the knee. This dress along with one other she had tailored to make sure it hugged every curve and flattered her small frame.

Liz walked out to her car, climbed inside and started the car. She stopped and began to speak to herself.

"What the hell am I doing? He tells me he never wants to see me ever again and I just can't be a normal girl and eat a carton of ice cream watching the notebook for the hundredth time. No, instead I try to get him back! He is no better than Tom, worse even, and I still love him more and more." Liz balled and un-balled her fists, cursing herself for falling in love with that bastard. "And to top it all off he slapped me! At least Tom was paid to hurt me, Red did it on his on free will! And I am talking to myself!" She slammed her head against the steering wheel a couple of times while muttering, "I am a fucking idiot."

"Wow, Scott! You look fantastic!" Ressler exclaimed when Liz walked into the briefing room, Meera and Cooper turned to look at her.

Liz blushed and smiled, "Thank you."

Red walked in a moment after her and saw her- his Lizzie.

She looked ravishing, her hair short and lighter, her body shape highlighted in all the right ways.

Red looked for a moment, taking her in.

"Elizabeth, you changed your hair." Red said with absolutely no emotion.

She turned to look at him, "Yes, I did." She looked back to Ressler and the others.

Red stood there for a few moments watching Liz with Donald. She laughed at things he was saying and kept touching his shoulder. Liz was flirting with him.

"Elizabeth, if you don't mind I would like to speak to you." Red called over to Liz.

"Well?" She turned to face him entirely, while placing her hands on her hips.

"Not here, follow me." Red walked toward the elevator, stopping and turning to watch Liz to make sure she was coming. He noticed then that Liz was saying something to Donald, all the other people in the room had left, it was only the three of them - Liz, Donald and Red.

Liz knew that now was her best opportunity to kiss him. She leaned forward and placed a simple kiss upon Donald's lips before turning to walk to the elevator. The look on Donald's face was priceless, but he didn't

Red could feel his blood boiling, as she approached him he noticed a smug grin on her face.

The elevator doors open as soon as she gets over and she walks right pasted Red and into the elevator. He waited for the doors to close before pulling the stop button.

"You know Lizzie there are easy ways to get in a mans pants." Red made a comment.

Liz instantly became pissed. "You lost that right to say something like that to me the second I walked out of that fucking hotel room unless you would mind sharing on how to get into yours? Cause I haven't quite figured that out yet!"

Red stood there staring at her, thinking 'did she just ask how to get into my pants?'

"Stop it! You are staring. And I know what you are thinking, did she really just kiss Ressler? Did she really just ask me how to get in my pants? Well the answers are very simple, yes I just did both of those things." Liz was fuming. "And before you yell at me I am only doing this because you hurt me! Why can't you keep this relationship professional! You said you didn't want me, even though I can still see the lust in your eyes, I don't know what I did wrong but I know I love you way to much and I can't do this." Liz took a deep breath, Red was still just staring at her dumbfounded at what she had just expelled to him. "I'm done. After this guy, I am quitting. I am done with you and this entire life I have been forced to live through. You are going to have to find yourself a new little bitch to manipulate, make fall hopelessly in love with you, destroy her entire life." Liz hit the button, putting the elevator back in motion. "Good luck finding someone to deal with your ass."

Just as she said that the doors opened and Liz started to walk out of the elevator.

Red grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. "Don't you fucking say anything like that to me ever again. Yes, I originally chose you because to be quite honest you life sucked- your birth father a career criminal, who killed your mother and tried to kill you, Sam who kept going in and out or remission with cancer, Tom who was hired by your father to kill you. Not to mention your inability to conceive a child, the psychological damage from the fire, the scare with your brain tumor in high school, and your still ongoing anorexia." She looked at him with shock. "You thought no one noticed how you never eat and when you do after you run into the bathroom? Hmm?" Liz was now balling and Red was gripping her wrists with such a force he knew that she would bruise but he couldn't let her walk away from him. Not yet anyways.

"How the hell did you know all of that! How?!" She yelled through tears.

"I know everything about you. I know you favorite color and the names you want for children. I know your family history and your medical history. I know that you are confused on why I won't display my love for you and how much you really hate me. I know you Lizzie." Red's tone was softer, gentle even. "I will always love you. We just can't be together, not without consequences."

"That's why!" She exclaimed. "My father; he killed your family and he hates you and obviously me, he would try to kill us both. The FBI; you are a criminal and I am a agent and that's a no-no. And you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket for me to turn around one day and hate you. Did I get them all?" Liz tried to pull herself away from him, but his grip was too tight.

"It's a perfect Romeo and Juliet love story, isn't it?"

"My dear you got them all." He pulled her flush against him and met her lips with his own with a deep needy passion filled kiss. Liz pulled away panting for breath that he just took away.

"No." Liz shook her head. The elevator doors pulled open and she walked out, she turned back to see him confused. He must have expected her to fall back in his arms while he apologizes for his jackass like behavior.

"I am leaving, please don't call me, don't come over. Just please leave me alone." She turned away from him and walked away in the dimly lit parking garage, knowing that this would be the last time she would see him.

That night Liz boarded a plane under her birth mother's name- Ellis Shepard heading somewhere far far away.


	4. Greece, Years Later

Notes:

I have no idea how this came to be the next part in the story but I got an idea and it wouldn't leave me alone. I'm sorry for its shortness... the mini one-shots I have been righting did not help me here.

I will make the next one longer... I promise.

* * *

Elizabeth Scott had been gone since the second she stepped on that plane.

Her plan, her rash decision to leave and never look back had paid off for Liz.

Three years later she found herself the owner of a Hotel on a tiny Greek island, remarried with two adopted children from his first marriage before his wife died giving birth. Her new life was built on a lie.

She was now Ellis, and her husband's first wife's family bought the island and when she passed it was given to him.

Lewis and Ellis Fitzgerald, were married for 2 1/2 years, have two children-the twins Marie and Thomas (go figure), age 10.

Liz was happy, most of the time. Except her thoughts drift sometimes when she thinks about her past.

When she first started at the FBI, when she first laid eyes on him, when she first kissed Red on an undercover mission. That was the one she got stuck on the most, because from there she would think about what her life could have been with him- the adventures he would have taken her on, the kisses they would have shared, and Liz whether she would admit it to herself or not have had dreams of them making love.

Then she remembered that night, quite vividly. She remembered the downpour that have been an indicator she should just go home. Liz could remember standing outside the hotel room door, dripping from the rain shower going on outside, and shaking from the nervousness.

He had yelled at her. Then when she didn't do what he wanted her to, he hit her. Slapped her cheek so hard she had a bruise that took loads of cover up to cover up.

Life moves on.

Liz had gotten married in city hall, with paper rings they had made. It was adorable really, how fast he helped her move through her new life. The wedding was completely spur of the moment, they had only been going out for 5 months when they decided to elope.

Life seemed to get better and better. Liz loved being a mother, the kids were amazing - well behaved, smart, and adorable. Plus they didn't effect their sex lives at all, especially when they owned and lived in a hotel on a private island.

"Hello!" Lewis walked over to her on the beach, and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Hello dear." Liz smiled back, "the children on the ferry boat to school?"

"Yes, and it's 7:30. And no one is coming to check in until noon. So we have loads of time." He laid her back onto the sand, while leaving open mouthed kisses down her neck.

"Mmmm.. Okay."

L. RR.

"I don't even know where the fuck this island is, and I have been a lot of places." Red had been a complete monster since Liz left, to everyone especially Dembe who really did not deserve it but got the brunt of it anyways.

At night he would drink the thought of her away, her sweet laugh, her smile she showed only him, her eyes and their sparkle, her lips when she kissed him with such exuberance- especially because they were only undercover. He just wanted his Lizzie back, but he knew it was because of how he acted that she left.

"Raymond. It is in Greece and no you have never been there but that is where you client would like to meet you."

"Where will we be staying on this dreaded trip?"

"The chemógelo."

"Doesn't that mean smile?"

"Yes. The owners are from the US, husband and wife."

Red boarded the plane putting up a lot of resistance toward a very over worked Dembe.

L. RR.

"Lewis! The toilet in room four is clogged again, can you get it and I'll wait here for the new check ins."

"Again! Grr! Alright, I'll go do it."

Liz turned her back away from the desk while she answer the phone.

When she turned she was met face to face with Dembe.

"Liz?!" Dembe exclaimed.

"Shh... I'm Ellis now." Liz said in a panicked whisper. "You look awful! I mean no offense but... What has he done to you?"

"He drinks more, and is a monster. He has no patients, and gets mad at a snap of your fingers. He also likes to kill more... Which means more work for me."

"Oh." Liz was shocked, he usually never talked.

"He is going to be thrilled to see you! Do you know the owners well? I heard they are American."

"I am American, from DC actually. It's good to hear we are talked about."

"You're not."

"I am married, two kids and the owner of this fine hotel." Liz smiled. "And I will give you his key and appreciate you keeping him far away from me. It has been hard getting over him and I still am not completely over him. But I would really like to stay sober, it's been a year without a drink."

"But he needs to see you."

"I can't see him. I will ruin everything I have worked so hard to get."

"Dembe! What the hell is taking you so fucking long..." His voice dropped when they locked eyes.

"Lizzie?" Red's voice was faint and failing.

"Red." Tears instantly filled her eyes, she felt awful for leaving the way she did. Liz ran out from behind the desk and Red captured her in his arms, their lips instantly meeting.

"Ellie! I finished in room four if you..." Lewis came out to find his wife kissing another man.

"Shit!" Liz exclaimed when she realized Lewis was now in the room. "Umm. Lewis, this is an old friend of mine, we go way back... It's nothing really."

Red extended his hand, he had immunity in Greece, and decided to be honest with the guy... More than Liz had ever been. "Raymond Reddington."

She was kissing Raymond Reddington, the man he had hired to find him a hit man and then to get him a new identity to escape, again... Liz isn't the second wife "Lewis" has had.


End file.
